Emo... just too emo

first i wanna apologize to JOEL KHOO for not being able no reply him x(...

i'm just too emo..

i don't feel like talking..

all i wanna do is CRY~

i went to my room..

i pull out the stack of files...

its full of DBSK's stuff inside...

three files full..

two photo albums...

i put my earphone into my ear.. and i started to sing while i flip my albums around..

the next second.. i can't see anymore..

tears burst like mad... seriously.. i don't know whats wrong with me yesterday...

singing while you crying will hurt your throat badly.. believe me!!!

i got 5 cuts on my left arm.. *shut up!! don't tell my mum*

and you guys should know that i really wanted the tattoo same as yoochun's..

and i even sometimes argue with my mum about this..

yesterday..

in my dreams...

i got scolded by yoochun..

everything is so real..

i remembered every single thing so clearly...

i told him that i wanted to have each and every tattoo he had on his body..

YooChun: what la you? i know how it feels... it feels pain!! and i don't want you to suffer..

Me: nevermind la... time will wash the pain ...

YooChun: no way...

Me: WHY??????????? i don't care...

YooChun: whats that on your arm?

*he saw my cuts*

Me: no ... nothing.. then i ran away....

he hold me tightly and scold me sadly...

I woke up...

face wet..

pillow wet...

hair wet..

lucky its not saliva...

its my tears...

*so real that i even cried*

so.. that explain why i got swollen eyes today...

and now..

everytime.. when i wanted to cut my arms again...

Yoochun's words flash through my mind...

and i'll put down my scissors and softly said...

thank you...

for that dream...

to prove that you love me too ❤❤❤❤❤