its real hard to put on a fake smile

went to school with fake smile and fake mask today..

i tried so hard to be good.. look good.. sound normal in front of my friends~

but after recess...

i can't stand it anymore..

my heart hurts till death!!!!!!!!!

i really can't breathe!!

for that moment... i thought i would die of suffocated...

i wish i could cry out loud..

but i have to look good in front of my friends..

i hold back everything...

and put on a fake smile till i reach home...

i got no energy at all..

i go to bed STRAIGHT!!

without lunch and bath...

when i woke up.. i don't feel hungry at all..

but i force myself to eat..

am hurt.. but i don't wanna starve till died because of him!!

i had bath right after my meal..

i felt much better...

after a cold water bath.....

i really don;t know how to communicate with him ad~